sonnet for the indecisive
trans math is realizing at thirty
that you like boys as much as you are one
meaning a lot, and not really at all
meaning maybe I never believed in
this ungodly mess of prefab bodies
can you truly call it a transition
when you exist as both—also neither
maybe the future is genderfucked, not
female like we’d hoped that it would be and
maybe since the rules are made up I can
retire that little part of me that
still balks when someone calls me beautiful
still wonders if I’m going through a phase
as if that makes me any less human
Kelsey L. Smoot (They/Them/He/Him) is a full-time PhD student in the interdisciplinary social sciences and humanities. They are also a poet, advocate, and frequent writer of critical analysis. Kelsey's debut chapbook, we was bois together, is forthcoming with CLASH! an Imprint of Mouthfeel Press.